~Proverbs 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

~Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

I’m sure you have found yourself at one time or another in the same room with someone with a bad temper. Your main thought is to get as far away from the contention as possible. A house cannot be big enough when it contains a woman who is ranting and raving her displeasure. Do we behave like this Proverb’s woman with our own husband?

We can try to justify our actions all we want. We can say that we are trying to make a point. We can say “He’s my husband, he needs to see how he makes me feel!” But does he really have to know exactly how you feel? If yes, does he have to hear it through screaming words?

There is nothing appealing or admirable about a woman who cannot control her anger. I once knew a woman who would throw her wedding ring at her husband during a fight and then she would storm out the door and go for a ride in the car. Is that Christ-like to you? You might say she got her point across, but did she? I doubt it. What she did get across to her husband was that she was childish and if she didn’t get her way, she would throw a fit. By the way, there are husbands who act this way as well but that’s a whole other devotional 🙂

~Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

This speaks for itself, doesn’t it? There are quite a few verses dealing with a woman being the contentious woman. It is probably because we women are emotional creatures. Therefore, we must learn to control those emotions in a godly manner.

~Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Ugh! A continual dropping? Oh my!! I use to have a bathroom faucet that dripped like that. I could hear it in the still of the night and could NOT fall asleep!  I can see why they called this Chinese torture as a joke! It’s funny to think of but it’s not funny when a husband is stuck with a wife whose anger and brawling is compared to this annoying scenario!

If an unsaved man has a Christian wife who is like this, do you think he will be quick to come to Christ? If he is saved but disobedient to the Word, do you think her testimony will be quick to draw him back? Do you think this type of emotional outburst will allow the Holy Spirit to woo him? There is nothing Christ-like in her behavior so why should he thirst for Christ?

So what kind of testimony are we to our husband? They are watching, believe me. Are you a contentious woman? Self examination is so important to the wife of an unsaved man. Being in Proverbs daily is a good start to self examination – there is no better book for spiritual discipline. The scriptures cleanse us and keep us on track.

Our day should start with sincere prayer like Psalm 51:10:

~Psalm 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

The Lord desires to help us be in control of our tongues, our attitudes, and our actions. He desires to help us be the helpmeets we need to be, despite our husband’s spiritual condition. No, it’s not easy being married to an unbeliever. However, that does not prevent us from having a right relationship with the Lord. In fact, we are only responsible for our own spiritual condition, not our husband’s. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to work in his heart, not ours.

Someone is always watching – including our husbands. Challenge yourself today … ask the Holy Spirit to shed light on areas that are not pleasing to Him and that are hindering your husband’s salvation or hindering his return from backsliding. Ask Him to give you your husband’s eyes so you can see how he (your husband) views you.

After all, no one wants their husband to prefer living in the wilderness than to be around them  God bless you as you strive to be sanctified and meet for the master’s use!!


  1. 1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
    1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.
    1Pe 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
    1Pe 3:4 But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

  2. Kate,

    My husband and I were both saved when we got married but all the same, this post of yours really blessed me because they’re truths that all of us wives can live by, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

    Thanks for sharing :o)

  3. Linda and Dallas, Amen and amen!!! The Word cleanses us – the Holy Spirit desires to mold us into the image of Christ. When we are godly helpmeets, we are actually serving the Lord through it all!

    Thanks for your wonderful comments!

  4. Here is a funny story for you (tempted to put it in blog, but not everyone would understand the heart of my husband):

    We have been so fortunate to receive hand-me-down furniture time after time from family.
    We are currently on the third futon frame (I guess my children are rather rough) from family. They (our children) just don’t manage to gently take the frame from couch position to bed position over and over again without creating kindling.

    Well, my dear husband has been very creative to build small beds from the halves of the futons which have gone to the happy hunting ground. They are just perfect for a single futon mattress when nice legs are built to hold the platforms up.

    Two platforms were left (rectangle with slats…great shape, nice wood) and were CALLING to my husband.
    He loves looking at the stars.
    He also imagines that he has a wife capable of climbing a ladder to the roof at bedtime.
    Yep. That’s what I said.
    One of the beds is complete and in place (one-half of a futon bed…rectangle with slats) supported by a slanted frame to offset the slant of the roof.
    Its twin will be built tomorrow.
    Hubby will sleep on the roof tonight. He is excited. Understatement.
    Please no jokes about “the corner of the rooftop”.(Proverbs 21:9)
    Please pray that I will lose my fear of heights between now and tomorrow night.
    I believe that God is asking me to spend at least one night up there.
    You can stop laughing now.

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