She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. (Pro 31:12) I have often wondered how a wife could possibly do evil to her husband when this is the man that she loves. I could see how this could be a true statement when she is involved in an unhappy marriage. However, is it possible for a wife to do evil to her husband when she is in a happy Godly marriage?
What are some evil things that a wife could do to her husband? Noah Webster defines evil as:
Moral evil is any deviation of a moral agent from the rules of conduct prescribed to him by God, or by legitimate human authority; or it is any violation of the plain principles of justice and rectitude.
When a wife knows that she should be doing a certain thing for her husband and she does not do it, it is sin. For example, she knows she must be submissive but she rebels against his wishes instead. This is an example of doing him evil.
Let’s look at a few verses which show a wife what is expected of her.
… and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:33b) Do you respect and esteem your husband? Respecting and esteeming him is good in public, but do you do so in private as well? Reverencing the man that God has given you is commanded of you. When you fail to reverence him, you are doing him evil.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Eph 5:23) Is your husband your head? This verse says that he is. Do you treat him as such? Or do you supersede his decisions? Do you step in and take control without speaking with him in situations which should be handled by him? You are removing him from his rightful place as head of your home. Without words, your actions are telling him that you think he is not capable of leading your home. If you are doing this, you are doing him evil.
… but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Cor. 7:34b) Paul says that the married woman sees how she can please her husband. Do you look for ways to please your man? This is what Proverbs 31:12 is speaking of when she is doing him good.
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. (Pro 19:13) A contentious woman is a woman who, according to Noah Webster, is given to angry debate and is quarrelsome. She argues with her husband over everything. It’s obvious that she’s not content with how he heads the home. Notice how Solomon compares her to a continual dropping? We’ve all heard the bathroom faucet dripping as we’re trying to sleep. It gets to the point where the continuous drip sounds like thunder in the still of the night. I believe this is the thought that he was trying to convey. This contentious woman is a nuisance and makes her man crazy. Can you see him as he rubs his forehead and shakes his head? I can see where a man like this would throw his arms up in the air in defeat. If you are always arguing with your husband, you are doing him evil.
House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. (Pro 19:14) Ah, the prudent wife does good to her husband. She is cautious and wise as she does her shopping. She watches for sales. She spends his money with care. She doesn’t jump to conclusions or rush into trouble. She is careful with her words and chooses them wisely. She does not bring him shame – either in action or in word. All these things show her prudence and Proverbs 31:12 says she is doing him good.
Lastly, this Proverbs 31 wife is doing him good all the days of her life. She does him good even when she doesn’t feel like it. She does him good even if she is sick or the children are sick… ALL the days of her life.
I commit to You today
To do my husband good
Drive evil far from me
So I can be the wife I should