The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. (Pro 31:11) Trust is something that is earned – it is developed as a relationship grows. You don’t meet a stranger and trust him right away, do you? You observe this person and get to know him. While watching for this person’s integrity, reliability and sound principles you then begin to respect him. Proverbs 31:11 says that this husband safely trusts in his wife. Not only does he trust her but he does so without hesitation or fear! This adjective speaks volumes, doesn’t it?
Does your husband feel this way about you? If not, why not? Do you belittle him in front of others? How can you trust someone who doesn’t honor you? Ephesians 5:33b is still in the Bible. …and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Eph 5:33) I have heard some very sad stories of men belittling their wives to their co-workers. The wife finds out and it is a long time before she forgets how disrespectful her husband was of her to his friends. It is no different here. A wife should never, and I repeat never, say anything but uplifting and kind things about her husband to others as well as to her husband. This builds trust. He knows that she is his best friend, his supporter and his cheerleader. She should never say anything to anyone that would make him look bad in their eyes. I know that when a woman tells me something negative about her husband, it’s the first thing I think of the next time I see him. The same results happen when I hear a good thing about her husband. Which one do you think will create safe trust in this man’s heart?
The latter part of the verse says that the Proverbs 31 wife’s husband shall have no need of spoil. Are you wasteful? Your husband works so that you can have food, shelter and clothing. Do you waste food? Do you take care of the house to prevent costly repairs later? Do you spend your money wisely on clothing by hitting the sales, buying from thrift stores or yard sales? Do you mend and repair rather than throw it away and buy new? How do you spend his hard-earned money when you go shopping? Do you go to the most expensive store because it is closer or do you seek out bargains? Do you make gifts by hand using your craftiness rather than buy something? Do you pray before you buy asking the Lord to send the item? I have seen many times where the Lord has sent something “free”! We miss out on blessings when we don’t commit our purchases to the Lord.
The Proverbs 31 wife was not only a virtuous (Godly) woman, but she was in the promotional business. She was busy promoting her husband and his character. Everything she said and everything she did had her husband in mind – how she could build him up and make him successful. Do you think I’m reading into this verse? I don’t think I am. The very fact that he “safely” trusted in her tells me that he did not have one worry involving her. He knew beyond a shadow of doubt that she would do the right thing. I’m sure you’ve heard it said, “Honey, don’t mention what I told you the other night in front of my boss, OK?” If a husband “safely” trusted in his wife, he would have no need to mention this.
Just because you are married now does not mean that your husband will safely trust in you immediately. Remember, it takes time to build trust. Work on building that trust in your husband’s eyes by speaking good of him and being careful with every dollar that you spend. This is just the beginning and as he sees these qualities in you, you can be sure that it is adding to the foundation of trust he will have for you.
Help me to guard my mouth
Be uplifting in every way
Guide me as I spend each dime
Give me wisdom each new day