Most Christian women who are married to an unbeliever have husbands who are good and kind – and they are willing to live at peace with their Christian wife. Their husbands are not abusive and are decent men. I know a handful of women who are in this situation. In fact, I am in that situation, too.

The topic that kept cropping up in my own spiritual life was being an obedient wife to my unsaved husband. What does the word of God have to say about this? I use to say, “Ya, but what IF he tells me to do something that’s wrong?” The fact of the matter was that many of the “what if’s” never came to pass. I was worrying over situations that never occurred. This worry is old slew foot’s way of distracting the Christian woman and keeping her from moving forward in her role of submission.

Let’s look at what the Scriptures have to say about being submissive and obedient to our husbands:

~Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

~1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

~1 Corinthians 11:8-9 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

~Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

~Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

~Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

~Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

~1 Timothy 2:11-12 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

~Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

~1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

~1 Peter 3:5-6 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

I find it interesting that six times we see the appearance of the phrase “own husbands” – we are not to submit to someone else’s husband. Submitting to my husband’s leadership in our family is essential for a biblical marriage. He may not be saved, but he is still the leader in our home. It does not mean that he has the right to rule as a little ‘Hitler’ with a fist of iron. It does not mean that he has the right to demand that I go against the Scriptures. That is not leadership. Granted, if my husband would ask me to go against the Scriptures, I must obey God. 

God’s Word says we are to submit to our husbands – not just on the outside but on the inside as well. Submitting is easy as long as it goes along with what we want. However, when the rubber meets the road, are we as willing to submit when we do not agree with what our husbands want? For example, your husband wants to purchase a new car with your income tax refund and you want a new washer and dryer. The two of you do not agree and you make a plea to your husband. That is where the Holy Spirit’s work comes in. Let it go and let the Lord work in the situation. If your husband still buys the car, let it go. 🙂

Submitting is not an option – we are commanded to do so. When we do not submit, we will be “spanked” by the Father. Just as our children’s punishments get harsher when they continue to do what we tell them not to do, so will our punishments be more severe if we refuse to obey God’s Word and submit to our husbands. God gets our attention one way or another.

I hope all this makes sense to you ladies. I find it is much easier to obey the Holy Spirit and submit to my husband than it is to resist and suffer punishment as a result. Once we “get this,” our relationship with our husband improves dramatically.


  1. Well said! I did a blog on “Submitting to our husbands” and there is a story there about folkd we knew that were in the same situation….just to encourage.


  2. I agree wholeheartedly. I am married to the most amazing, loving considerate guy who has yet to be converted. Its such an awesome thing to watch as God works in small ways to reveal Himself to my husband.
    My husband is great and never has tried to make me do anything against my beliefs…I think most guys are just happy to have wives who respect them and in return they respect the beliefs that form us into the wives we are.
    Thank you for being strong enough to share your belief on such a contraversial topic! Its nice to see women who don’t try to wiggle their way around such straight forward scriptures!
    God Bless

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.