Being a Friend

Posted on September 25, 2012 by Kate

~Proverbs 27:9 Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.

If you’ve never had a friend that has loved you unconditionally, you have missed out on a precious thing in life. Unconditional love is described as someone loving you no matter what you’ve done to them.

The perfect example of unconditional love is the love shown to us by Jesus Christ. Our sin is the reason He had to die on that cross… in fact, my sin is the reason He had to die on that cross! Yet, He loved me so much that He chose to leave His Heavenly home, come to this earth, and suffer a cruel death … just so I can go to Heaven! That’s as unconditional as love gets, my friend!

As I reflect on this friend in Proverbs 27:9 , I see a friend who provides hearty counsel. This friend loves so much that he sticks with a friend through everything. How can I tell? This friend is providing hearty (strong, sincere, warm) counsel. When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to give you strong advice even if it hurt? When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to show you in the Word where you were going wrong? Anyone can give you worldly advice and counsel. Anyone can give you their opinion. But a true friend will counsel you when it’s not easy – when you’ve sinned. A true friend will point things out that will cause you to think. A true friend will show you that the path you’re on is going to lead you to heartache, and possibly chastisement from the Lord.

Do you have such a friend? I do. In fact, my friend is the one who led me to the Lord over 32 years ago. She brings me to tears with laughter – but she also brings me to tears with conviction through the Word. Yes, my heart has to be tender and willing to be taught in order to receive the hard counsel she has to give me. However, how many people do you know in your own life who love you despite of what you are doing? How many people do you know in your own life who see the sin in you yet their main desire is to help you get right with God? That, dear Christian, is a true friend.

I thank God, daily, for my spiritual mother. Not only has she been faithful in her friendship, but she has shared the Word of God with me when it was not easy to receive. She did not compromise the Word just to keep our friendship. She stood firm and prayed for me so that I would stand firm also. What a friend!

Are you such a friend? Do you offend others by what you say (your opinions) or are the words you give to your friend from God’s Word? My friend’s words were. I could never go back to her and say that what she told me was her opinion. In fact, quite the opposite – she quoted Scriptures and it is very hard to refute God. How could I be offended when it was His Word that was spoken to me?

We should strive to be this type of friend to those the Lord has placed in our path. If they are truly walking with the Lord, they will look at your counsel as sweet. As well, if the Lord has put someone in your life who has given you wise counsel, be sure to keep your heart soft and teachable so the Lord can bless you through that counsel.

~Psalm 49:3 My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.

Thought for the Day – Day 12 – Attitude of Eliphaz!

Posted on March 21, 2011 by Kate

~Job 4:1-5 Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered and said, 2 If we assay to commune with thee, wilt thou be grieved? but who can withhold himself from speaking? 3 Behold, thou hast instructed many, and thou hast strengthened the weak hands. 4 Thy words have upholden him that was falling, and thou hast strengthened the feeble knees. 5 But now it is come upon thee, and thou faintest; it toucheth thee, and thou art troubled.

Ah, Job! The account of Job’s sufferings is one that every Christian has read with mixed emotions. Job loses all his children, his property and then he is stricken with boils. I can’t imagine losing my children! I’ve lost property before and one manages to move on. Boils hurt so badly that you can actually feel it pulsating with pain! It seems we can handle most things in life but once we are sick and in pain, it becomes harder to cope. Pain which plagues our bodies 24/7 must be all consuming, in my opinion. I have a friend who has fibromyalgia, along with other issues as a result of this disease. Not a minute goes by that she is not suffering

Poor Job! It wasn’t enough for him to lose his family and his possessions – he was afflicted in his body as well. After losing his children and possessions, his wife told him to curse God and die! What an encourager she was! On a side note, what kind of wife are we to our husbands during difficult times? It’s obvious she could not draw from her faith during these hard times. But her husband sure did! In all this, he told her that God gives and God takes away. Through all his heart wrenching experiences, Job didn’t sin. He drew on his faith in his Creator. Once the boils came and he was covered in them, it seems he got caught in the moment. He curses the day he was born. Before we get all self-righteous, stop to think for a moment on a day that you were in extreme pain – maybe a horrible migraine. Can you imagine having that kind of pain all of over your body – constantly? You’d wish you were ever born as well! You would be complaining and questioning God as well.

I live in a logging area. When trees are cut down in a row, those trees behind them are not accustomed to being exposed to the wind. They had always been protected by those trees which were just cut. When the winds blow, you’ll find some of those newly exposed trees fallen over because their roots were not as strong as those which were cut. It’s the same with our trials. Sometimes the winds of trials need to blow to test our roots. Will we hold up or will we fall?

So now Job’s friends step into the picture. ***Sigh*** Eliphaz immediately passes judgment on Job. He points out to Job that he was the one who instructed and strengthened the weak in their moments of need. But now that Job was stricken, he fainted! Later Eliphaz tells Job that the righteous are not stricken – only the wicked. So Job must have sinned to have suffered as he had! What a friend Eliphaz was! Here Job had pretty much lost everything and was in excruciating pain and his friend was kicking him while he was down

It seems the Eliphaz’s come out of the woodwork when we are sick! People are so quick to judge rather than to love and help. What kind of friend are we? How do we help others in their time of need? As mothers, we can teach our children the true meaning of friendship by our own actions. They mimic what they see and hear so they should see our love in action. Is a friend sick? Don’t make judgmental comments like Eliphaz did but strive to help by making a meal or speaking words of encouragement to them. This is what our children will see. This is what they will learn.

~Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

The testing of our own faith through trials make us stronger so we can help others. Can you imagine how Job would have been encouraged if Eliphaz had words of comfort and love instead of judgment?

~I Thessalonians 2:7-8 But we were gentle among you, even as a nurse cherisheth her children: 8 So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.

Paul sure did have that compassion, love and comfort that Job desperately needed from his friends. The compassion of a mother who cherishes her children was what Job could have used that day! What kind of friend are we? What are we teaching our children? Do we teach them to have an attitude of Eliphaz or to be compassionate and loving? I wonder how Job’s account would have gone had Eliphaz treated Job the way Paul speaks of in I Thessalonians?

Love with compassion – what a beautiful depiction of the Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:8 says it all!

Day 26 – The Proverbs Friend

Posted on October 26, 2006 by Kate

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel. (Pro 27:9)

As I reflect on this friend in Proverbs 27:9, I see a friend who provides hearty counsel. This friend loves so much that he sticks with a friend through everything. How can I tell? This friend is providing hearty (strong, sincere, warm) counsel. When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to give you strong advice? When was the last time you had a friend who loved you enough to show you in the Word where you were going wrong? Anyone can give you worldly advice and counsel. Anyone can give you their opinion. But a true friend will counsel you when it’s not easy – when you’ve sinned. A true friend will point things out that will cause you to think. A true friend will show you that the path you’re on is going to lead you to heartache, and possibly chastisement from the Lord.

Do you have such a friend? I do. In fact, my friend is the one who led me to the Lord over 26 years ago. She brings me to tears with laughter – but she also brings me to tears with conviction through the Word. Yes, my heart has to be tender and willing to be taught in order to receive the hard counsel she has to give me. However, how many people do you know in your own life who love you despite of what you are doing? How many people do you know in your own life who see the sin in you yet their main desire is to help you get right with God? That, dear Christian, is a true friend.

I thank God, daily, for my spiritual mother. Not only has she been faithful in her friendship, but she has shared the Word of God with me when it was not easy to receive. She did not compromise the Word just to keep our friendship. She has stood firm and prayed for me so that I would stand firm also. What a friend!

Dear God…
Thank you for sending me
A friend whose love is strong
Leading me always to Your Word
And keeping me from wrong

Day 10 – Friendship

Posted on October 3, 2006 by Kate

Prov. 22:24, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:”

Only twice in my spiritual life have I had to remove myself from a friendship because that person was the angry person spoken of in Prov. 22:24. Neither time was pleasant. In fact, both times caused me much grief and inner turmoil. This morning, I am saddened because I have had to do this. The sad thing is that this person will never know the pain and turmoil caused by their actions unless the Holy Spirit is allowed to work in their life.

I don’t believe Prov. 22:24 is telling us to stop a friendship with someone because they have gotten angry every once in a while. However, I do believe that the Lord is speaking of people who have that constant and consistent display of anger and bad attitude. We all know people like this. Nothing ever goes their way – they see the bad in most everything – their mouths get them into much trouble and their words show exactly where their hearts are.

…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Mat 12:34b) But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. (Mat 15:18) A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. (Luk 6:45)

God is clear when He tells us that we are not to make friends with an angry person. Why do you think that is? Haven’t you ever been around “Mr. Negativity” for a few hours and started thinking or feeling the same way? I know I have. It is far worse being around someone who is constantly angry and cannot control their temper. Friendship is a close relationship with someone – more than just a casual acquaintance. A friendship involves sometimes daily contact and interaction.

It is a sad state of affairs when you cannot even speak to this person because their angry outbursts take over. It is like a childish temper tantrum. Nor will this person accept admonition – they do not want to see their sin. In fact, in their eyes, they see you as the “bad guy”! They are quick to call you self-righteous for bringing their sin to light. No matter how much Scripture you give this person, their venom continues to spew forth.

One thing I have learned, this person is not a happy person. You become who you hang out with. We preach this to our children – our parents preached it to us. The Lord admonishes us in Prov. 22:24 not to hang out with an angry person. We must heed this warning from the Lord. Otherwise, we will become just like them. How can we be a help to others if we allow ourselves to be sucked into a life of anger and discontentment? We sin against God when we display anger and discontentment. This does not display His Spirit in our lives – whose fruit we should be displaying.

An angry person also is very prideful – they cannot be taught or admonished because they do no wrong in their eyes. But the Lord has much to say about the prideful. I found it interesting that in these two verses in Proverbs, both referenced wisdom coming from the lowly and well advised. The angry person doesn’t follow this route at all. When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. (Pro 11:2) Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (Pro 13:10)

As I heal my broken heart over this cessation of fellowship, I find great comfort in knowing that I’m being obedient to my Heavenly Father. Daily must we put to death the natural man and the pain that this natural man brings. Daily must we set our sights on the Lord, His Word and go with confidence that He will bring us through each trial.

Dear God…
Although my heart is broken
You’ve reminded me that You
Are always there for comfort
With much mercy given too

Friendship

Posted on July 26, 2006 by Kate

There are different kinds of friendships
That we encounter along the way
That vary with each different person
And change from day to day

There is only one kind of friend though
That is worthwhile waiting for
The kind that always stands behind you
And provides you with so much more

Much more than mere companionship
Much more than a bending ear
But the kind that always holds you tight
Whenever you’re close to tears

The kind that understands your ways
Without a question or a word
The kind that just cannot be bought
And if so, I could not afford

And this, my friend, is a story of you
That I hold dearly to my heart
I thank the Lord for your sweet friendship
And pray that we’ll never part!

Kate Plourde

1984

Maranatha!

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Ps. 119:105

Tag Archives: Friendship

Being a Friend

Thought for the Day – Day 12 – Attitude of Eliphaz!

Day 26 – The Proverbs Friend

Day 10 – Friendship

Friendship

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