The Journey –  May 26, 2018

So now we had embarked on this journey – one with an unknown destination; one filled with uncertainties; and one that was to produce extreme anxiety in the days ahead. What direction would I take? Who was going to help John? My precious husband was undergoing so much pain and suffering! My heart was breaking! He spent his time in the bathroom and having accidents. 🙁 Needless to say, mountains of laundry and unending cleaning was becoming my life’s story. Even when John had colon cancer in 2008, I was totally not prepared for what was about to happen.

It’s not like these symptoms could be attributed to chemotherapy or radiation like in 2008. These symptoms were the result of the “unknown” and we were baffled. How I hated to see my husband suffering. I’m sure you’re all aware as to what happens when you have diarrhea after a few hours of “going.” Your bottom becomes raw and oh the pain! John was going all the time! There was no end in sight and he was absolutely miserable! I was heartbroken as I watched my beloved, my best friend, suffer! :'( My days were overwhelmed with emotion, questions, and confusion!  I didn’t know why he was suffering so much. We did not have a diagnosis and we definitely were perplexed. This continued for another five days and my poor husband had become lethargic. In just a week’s time, John had lost nearly ten pounds! 

At this point, I knew we were dealing with something bigger than just post-surgery issues. My husband was just not “my husband”! Something was off so I brought him to the Emergency Room on May 28th and sure enough, he was extremely dehydrated. They had to administer more than two bags of IV fluids in order to bring his numbers up. However, test results showed that not all was well. One of the doctors from our GI practice was on call that weekend and diagnosed him as having caught a “bug” of some kind. The fluids they gave John intravenously helped him to feel better but diarrhea was still very much an issue. The doctor released him from the hospital with a prescription for Augmentin. We went home thinking that things would change and would get better. Had I done my homework, I would have seen that one of its side effects was diarrhea! Prayers were being sent to the Throne of Glory on behalf of my husband – prayers begging for help!

But sadly, things did not get better. By the 4th of July, John had lost 20 pounds!  His life had now forced him to stay close to home and close to the bathroom. Everything ceased for him – everything ceased for me. How I pleaded with the Lord to help my poor husband. I recall sitting in my rocking chair, watching God’s creation outside my window.  Life was passing us by and no one was aware of just what my poor beloved was going through. I could not understand why the Lord was not hearing. I would plead with the Lord and in those dark days I grew to love Psalm 121:1-2 as never before. These verses would flow from my lips continuously. They brought such comfort because I knew that although we could not figure out what was going on, my Heavenly Father knew and He had a plan. 

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