8 Steps to Living Peaceably With Your
Unsaved Husband
1. Don’t look for a way out of this marriage.
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth
not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. (1Co 7:12)
And the woman which hath an husband that
believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
(1Co 7:13)
For we are his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in
them. (Eph 2:10)
Ask the Lord to reveal to you how HE wants you to act so He can complete His
task through your current situation.
2. Be practical. Is it practical to think that your dh will act like a
Christian? Do you expect your dh to get saved right now?
And he said unto them, It is not for you to know
the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power. (Act 1:7)
Rest in this … God is at work in your dh’s life as He promised.
Behold ye among the heathen, and regard, and
wonder marvellously: for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not
believe, though it be told you. (Hab 1:5)
3. Do you remember why you are married? Do you wonder why God allowed you to
become a Christian while you were married to an unbeliever?
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the
wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your
children unclean; but now are they holy. (1Co 7:14)
The word sanctify means "set apart." Your husband will receive extra
opportunities to witness God’s grace and mercy. Another reason to stay married
to your dh is for the children. This same verse says children living with a
Christian parent are holy rather than unclean. Therefore, remember that your
presence in their lives is of great influence.
4. Concentrate on your behavior. You MUST walk the walk and forget the talk.
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an
example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in
faith, in purity. (1Ti 4:12)
You need to be salt and light in your home. Ye
are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall
it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be
trodden under foot of men. (Mat 5:13)
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is
set on an hill cannot be hid. (Mat 5:14)
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under
a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the
house. (Mat 5:15)
Let your light so shine before men, that they
may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. (Mat 5:16)
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own
husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won
by the conversation of the wives; (1Pe 3:1)
While they behold your chaste conversation
coupled with fear. (1Pe 3:2)
Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known
and read of all men: (2Co 3:2)
Your life may be the only Bible your dh or children will ever read.
Only let your conversation be as it becometh the
gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear
of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving
together for the faith of the gospel; (Phi 1:27)
5. Share your faith. There does come a time when you CAN share your faith but
remember to do so “without the word” (1 Pet. 3:1). There are two very
appropriate situations when you can verbally witness to your dh:
(1) DH may notice something in your life (an attitude or behavior that glorifies
the Lord) and he’ll tell you how much he appreciates you. At this moment, remind
him that this was not the way you were before coming to Christ. Explain to him
how much better your marriage would be if you could share these changes
together.
(2) Wait until your dh is struggling with the emptiness in his life or is
experiencing difficulty in a relationship with another person. Remind him that
you once felt the same way, and this is why you surrendered your life to Christ.
A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a
word spoken in due season, how good is it! (Pro 15:23)
The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the
learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary:
he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned. (Isa
50:4)
6. Don’t hate your dh. If he continues to resist your words and rejects Christ,
be VERY careful not to become resentful or angry toward him.
And the LORD said unto Samuel, Hearken unto the
voice of the people in all that they say unto thee: for they have not rejected
thee, but they have rejected me, that I should not reign over them. (1Sa 8:7)
He that heareth you heareth me; and he that
despiseth you despiseth me; and he that despiseth me despiseth him that sent me.
(Luk 10:16)
In whom the god of this world hath blinded the
minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of
Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. (2Co 4:4)
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they
know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. (Luk 23:34)
Therefore, give your dh a little consideration based on your knowledge of his
lost condition. Give him some space and patience, and pray that God will open
his eyes.
7. Pray. Prayer is your greatest tool in the struggle to keep your unequally
yoked marriage going. Confess your faults one to
another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent
prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (Jam 5:16)
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on
serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall
by any means hurt you. (Luk 10:19)
Pray without ceasing. (1Th 5:17)
8. Never give up!
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he
shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. (Psa 27:14)
Kate Plourde
April 21, 2006
